Another of my satisfied readers. Photo by Sabina Music Rich on Unsplash tinted by author.

When I say real treats, I’m not talking about 10-day old leftover Halloween candy.*

No, I’m talking about three-year-old writing gems that have been covered under the detritis of a billion Medium articles on how to make money by writing online or how much money someone made writing online about how much money they made with an article about making money by writing online.

Photo by Laurenz Kleinheider on Unsplash

Test #1: Look in a mirror

If you…

Don’t see your reflection, congratulations! You’re not a narcissist, but you may be a vampire.

See your reflection in the mirror, but don’t know it’s you, congratulations! You’re not a narcissist, but you’re probably a zombie.

See your reflection in the mirror and try to butt heads with it, congratulations…

My fans chanting for a rant encore. Photo by Nicholas Green on Unsplash

There’s no accounting for taste, especially when it comes to the small number of people who like my writing.

Let’s just say that my sense of humor is an acquired taste… like chocolate-covered pickle ice cream garnished with fire ants.

While most of you out there have the good sense to ignore my rabble-rousing, rants, and ruminations, I am grateful to those who have read and clapped for my…

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

With all due respect to Don McLean, music didn’t die at all in 1959 (the tragic plane crash that killed Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper, and Ritchie Valen), or in 1971, the year he released his historic hit “American Pie.”

And it will probably go on for a long, long time, despite how strongly readers may feel that I’ve killed music with my song parodies, including a great collaboration with Mike Range in which “American Pie” takes on a whole new meaning.

But if you enjoyed my humorous approach to…

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

Since December 11, I’ve been off the grid. On that day, we boarded a plane headed to France to visit my wife’s family. We came back a week ago and I’m only now starting to feel “normal” again.

LESSON #1: the pandemic may never end, except for rich people.

The price of airline tickets increased because they charge more for basics…

Source: (@Calebcsw/Twitter)

Caleb Williams may not be the next MLK, but his decision to flex his muscles to determine his football future is another huge step forward.

Oklahoma quarterback Caleb Williams announced via social media that he is entering the transfer portal which will allow his to contact other schools and “see who may offer the best preparation and development for my future career is by entering the portal."

For those who are shocked at the…

WISDOM¹ OF THE AGES #2

This kind of rich, to be clear. Photo by David Suarez on Unsplash

The best things in life are those you can share with friends, family, or your one true love.

Since I have none of the above, I share them with you, dear reader.

And when I say share, I mean steal.

With that joyful holiday spirit bursting from my heart (and hopefully reinserting itself into my wallet), I had to write a special going-away-forever, farewell-dear-friends, don’t-cry-for-me-Argentina article. You know…

A HOLIDAY RANT

End of the planet illustration by Author using public domain photos and photos by Sammy Williams and Rowan Freeman on Unsplash

If you want excitement, anonymity, and the chance to blow ridiculous amounts of money in a fantasy environment, you no longer need to fly to Las Vegas.

Normally, I’m the last person to get sucked into money pits like those mind-numbingly repetitive and addictive pay-to-win video games. But this time, they found my weak spot.

Puzzles.

I love puzzle games and the ads show these interesting samples where you click on levers to dump lava on the…

A RANT THAT BREAKS THE RULES

Photo by Tarik Haiga on Unsplash — tinted a stylized teal by author

The old saying goes “you’re not paranoid if they’re really out to get you,” but I still wonder.

After years of being ignored by the algorithm, I decided to poke and prod it like a laboratory hamster. At first, I didn’t realize it, but now I see that the algorithm is the wheel, and we are the hamsters.

Little did I know that the algorithm also had feelings…

Lon Shapiro

Ad agency creative director, writer & designer at https://guttmanshapiro.com. Former pro tennis player and peak performance coach for professional athletes.

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