Don’t blame me, they’re are only song parodies — With all due respect to Don McLean, music didn’t die at all in 1959 (the tragic plane crash that killed Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper, and Ritchie Valen), or in 1971, the year he released his historic hit “American Pie.” And it will probably go on for a long, long time, despite how strongly readers may feel that I’ve killed music with my song parodies, including a great collaboration with Mike Range in which “American Pie” takes on a whole new meaning.

Fans turn away in horror when the Lakers have a fourth-quarter lead — I don’t expect any sympathy from all you haters out there, but I guarantee you know exactly what I am feeling right now. Last Friday night, we saw another fourth-quarter collapse in a long string of blown games this season. It happens to bad teams all the time and the Lakers have been a bad team since July 29, 2021. It seemed like the Lakers finally got a break, as Dallas had to…

Why use humor when a good sledgehammer will do the job? — Every writer wants more readers, but how do you do it? Years ago, to improve as a writer, I started following a writing coach on this site. She helped a lot of people, including me. (And I’ve made a living, in part, as a copywriter.) At one point, I responded to one of her posts and provided some counterarguments. I referred…

Let’s celebrate some of the greatest stories ever posted on Medium — Are you tired of being accosted by photos of women’s breasts? Are you tired of your daily serving of doom porn? Are you tired of lessons on how to write a book? Or how to increase your readership? Or how hard it is to raise little kids? Or advice on finding a real relationship by people who have never had to…

Some history and pointers for new writers to this site — In the old days of gatekeepers, there was only a tiny chance they would notice and promote your writing … but at least they had taste. When the internet democratized everything, we, the unknown writers of the world, believed our time had come. We were all wide-eyed and hopeful about writing sites like Medium. Instead, we got the economic scourges of the gig economy, crowdsourcing, and social media celebrities.

When you lose a pet, you become the target, too — In the old days, you put up flyers asking people if they saw your lost pet. It probably wouldn’t work, but at least nobody would go to your address and rob you. We live in a suburb close to a wildlife preserve, so even though we technically live in the city of Los Angeles, coyotes and hawks hunt in our neighborhood. While our dogs are big enough to hunt coyotes, cats are a tasty clueless treat. They look out the window, plotting…

Birthday wishes do come true — My birthday came three days before the trade deadline. I wished for the only thing I’ve longed for the last two years: the end of the Russell Westbrook era. The new players have made the Lakers look like a real team again. …

The science behind waking up at a respectable time — FACT: You can’t be productive in jail, so don’t kill self-help gurus urging you to take a cold shower at 5 a.m. According to the National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM), your body is trying to tell you something different. Here is the breakdown of the average circadian cycle from their article Circadian Rhythms Explained From A Wellness & Fitness Perspective (My emphasis in bold type).

Don’t blame the French for your gastronomic monstrosity — If you haven’t figured it out yet, mayo — not Mayonnaise — is symbolic of everything wrong with America. But first, a little history about the real deal. Various hypotheses surround the origin of Mayonnaise. But most agree the geographical origin of the sauce was Mahón, located in Menorca, Spain. According to one legend, a chef invented the sauce, using only eggs and oil, to celebrate the 1756 French…