Dude, you know I love your writing, so I hope this message won’t offend you.

My intial reaction to your story is that the “Mr Rejected” persona is finally scoring a huge response, so maybe you’ve found your narrative voice.

Your stats seem pretty impressive to me (and the rest of the unwashed masses). I never cared much about the mega stats of all the self-help posers and content marketers we mocked during the Grammar Games days, or certain popular humorists because they write trendy crap that’s tailored to the lowest common denominator, but I was happy to see that you got some of the recognition you deserve because you have made me laugh so many times.

I have to admit, seeing those gaudy numbers gave me the joneses to look at my own stats for the first time in almost year. I can’t tell you how free it feels to have been sober for so long. I guess my 12-step program worked! (Now that I think about it, I’ve been using a form of stat methadone called Quora, so I guess I’m not really cured.)

I have not been awarded a top writer widget, or whatever it is that showed up in your profile, so I don’t know the pain you’ve suffered by losing it and your invitation to be one of those special few who might someday be paid for their work inside Medium’s content lab.

But I can tell you of the one brief shining moment when I wrote a light breezy piece about 64-year-old Pat Benatar’s music as a theme to our political scene (breezy because it was before the actual election). It was called “Rockin’ American Politics like a Grandma” and for some unknown reason, it got picked as one of the Editor’s Choices of the day. Within an hour, my heady dreams of being a top writer were met with complaints of being sexist because I used the word grandma in connection to Benatar (old enough to be a grandma) and Hillary Clinton (who is a grandma) and whatever other ageist bullish*t was being projected on me, since I am old enough to be a grandpa.

Here’s the kind of positive feedback I received:

Yeah — not too shabby. Maybe some day you’ll create something as good as one of her songs. (I’m not nice like Anna).

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complete with Dr Pozzi finger

How to get picked by editors on Medium: Insult Trump! Winning!

I don’t know, but “confounding rejection,” looks pretty good to me compared to having angry trolls shoveling piles of their own living excrement into my isolated corner of the internet.

Anyway, if you don’t want me to spoil the relatively good thing you’ve got with your rejection brand, it’s okay if you reject my advice — maybe it would be a refreshing change of pace for you to changes roles for once.

However, if you’re sincerely bummed out because of the latest external, and possibly non-human generated arbitrary bullsh*t to be dumped on your plate, please accept this offering as a form of intervention:

You may only be a Class-M star in the Medium firmament, but you are a star, none the less.

Keep up the great work, my friend.

Written by

Ad agency creative director, writer & designer at https://guttmanshapiro.com. Former pro tennis player and peak performance coach for professional athletes.

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