First, allow me to thank you for your kind and gracious response.
I agree with you that I came off as lecturing. I don’t know how else it could have come off, considering I was observing and summarizing the arguments that have flared up over the last few months.
I missed most of the threads yesterday due to work and concern for the 80 people murdered in France. So, yes, I am annoyed that everyone is so ego-driven that even allies and friends find ways to divide themselves on petty bullish*t. And that’s exactly what it is. We are arguing over written words and nothing else. Worse yet, we are choosing to read these stories and then respond to them. If we were on that street in Nice yesterday, we wouldn’t necessarily have that choice today, would we?
There is no cry for arms. There are no acts of violence. There is no legislation being debated and written. And if there were, we would probably be in 99% agreement about everything. Seriously, is there anyone in our little group that opposes equal pay for equal work, womens’ reproductive health rights, a livable wage, and ending the excessive use of force by the police against black people in this country?
Second, most of what I wrote was about yesterday’s sh*t storm, so I didn’t think you were part of it. When you wrote “I appreciate and like what you have said here a great deal,” I was surprised that the next 700+ words went on to describe how much I insulted and angered you.
You wrote that you’re not sure I hit your buttons or not, but it’s pretty clear I did. So I’d rather not guess; please be specific. If it feels too personal, please send me an email: email@example.com.
Third, while I admitted my own poor choices in the past, I wrote “each of us” as a nice way of saying “all of you,” with respect to those involved in yesterday’s events. When Elliot wrote his piece, I wanted to expand on the part about how political correctness has become a way for people to wrap the flag of one issue or another around themselves to shut down debate rather than encourage it. I have seen plenty of examples of this behavior by people other than me.
With regard to you feeling judged, I have to quote alto here:
If, for example, you say something which other people may view as sexist, responding by telling you that your perspective is sounding sexist, is not, despite your howls to the contrary, calling you a sexist dick and comparing you to Hitler. It is saying your perspective may need some examination. There is a difference. The first is critiquing your opinion, the second is critiquing you.
If I identify a mistake all of us have made at one time or another, I’m critiquing the behavior, not each person, and certainly not singling you out in particular. I don’t think I can be any clearer than that. And if you are determined to feel judged, at least know that I am judging myself and everyone else in the exact same way.
Finally, you wrote that you are trying to prove a point about getting to make a choice in how you respond and that “I don’t need to be saved or told my response is unhealthy.” Again, I am unclear on what you are objecting to. I’m sorry to be so clueless. It won’t hurt my feelings if you explain it to me as clearly as you would when dealing with a child. Either I’ll thank you for teaching me something, or I’ll point out where you’re wrong.
Your point about not needing to be saved did make me think.
Why do any of us waste the time to think about something we read and respond with our own opinions or supply what we consider new information? I was hoping people would see their own part in yesterday’s festivities and be able to make peace. But it’s clear that’s a lost cause.