ADVANCED ANALYTICS IN MUSIC PART 1
Give Yourself a Hand: the 20 Greatest Hand Clapping Songs of All Time
Get a grip on yourself with these definitive rankings of hand clapping virtuosity.
THE LOCKDOWN, DAY 52: Have you been bouncing off the walls so much your neighbors think you’ve started playing the bass drum?
During times of trouble (and let’s face it, has there ever not been a time of trouble?), I will stumble down pretty much any rabbit hole that has to do with music, humor and sports.
Today, I want to wrap my fingers around a sticky question: which artists have given us the best hand jobs (musically speaking, of course) in the history of pop music?
Following the example of professional sports, I’ll use advanced analytics to grade the songs using four criteria (see the appendix for point breakdowns), with ratings from 1–5 in each category:
A. How big a hit was the song?
B. How many hand claps are heard throughout the song?
C. How important are the hand claps in the mix?
D. How Original or Innovative is the use of the hand claps?
THE TOP 20
There are so many hits, I had to divide the top 10 into a top 20. Songs 1–10 go mano a mano because hand clapping fills the entire song. You can find the link at the bottom of this article, because I wouldn’t want you to miss this incredible group of songs that feature quick bursts of hand clapping nirvana.
TIER 3: Claps of Thunder (11–15)
These songs feature repeated periods of hand clapping excellence, but fall a little short of the all time greats in one or more categories.
#11 Eight Days a Week by The Beatles: 4+3+3+2 = 11
Released in the U.K. in December 1964, Eight Days a Week was the group’s last song where hand clapping was featured as a solo instrument. It was the seventh straight #1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100.
The evolution of The Beatles’ writing shows up in this bouncy pop hit as they use hand clapping only sparingly as a solo percussion instrument during the call and response chorus, “Hold me… love me.” But adding a musical rest only accentuates the power of the hand claps (see “Where Did Our Love Go” for more effective use of this technique). The chorus of “Eight Days a Week” makes it easy for everyone to join in with the song.
Clapping pattern: a two-clap sequence on the beat.
#12. “My Best Friend’s Girl” by The Cars: 1+2+3.5+3.5 = 10
The Cars blew me away because they sounded like nothing I had ever heard before, while the rest of the country wanted to listen to Grease.
The sparse guitar riff and syncopated hand claps create one of the coolest openings ever, building tension as Ric Ocasek joins to sings the first verse and then the full band joins in.
Clapping Pattern: 7 clap phrasing (2-pause-1-pause-2-pause-2) off the beat. The Cars took the classic syncopated couplet and added a little quirky twist that separates them from songs in the past.
13. “Foreplay/Long Time” by Boston: 1+3+4+1 = 9
When this single was released in 1977, Boston was overshadowed by disco and Fleetwood Mac, Queen, and The Steve Miller at their peaks. The choruses rock with claps on every beat.
Every rhythm guitar player growing up in the 70s and 80s loved this song for its dynamic crash chords and the unforgettable acoustic chorus featuring great harmonies backed by those irreplaceable hand claps.
Clapping pattern: single claps on the beat.
14. “Takin’ Care of Business” by BTO: 1+2+3+1 = 8.5
How aboat that turbo-charged-sounding Canadian band, Bachman Turner Overdrive, turning out to be a bunch of slackers, eh?
According to the wikipedia story on this beauty, those crazy Canucks only finished writing this song after hearing the catch phrase of Vancouver local DJ Daryl B: “We’re takin’ care of business.”
But I guess it makes sense that the ultimate slacker group would write the ultimate slacker song where they ask the fans to clap at the beginning of the song and again in the build to the big finish.
Those boys weren’t lying when they sang “we love to work at nothing all day.”
Clapping pattern: single claps on the beat.
15. “Only the Good Die Young” by Billy Joel: 2+2+3+1 = 8
For the first 2:14, this is one of my favorite Billy Joel songs, with a brilliant finishing lyric:
I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The sinners are much more fun
For some reason, he decided to tack on the musical equivalent of a vestigial tail, with a useless instrumental, and a forced repetition of the first verse.
It could have been worse, I guess. Joel originally wrote this as a reggae tune.
The most memorable parts of the song are the cool piano intro and the fantastic bridge at 2:41:
Said your mother told you all that I could give you was a reputation
Aw she never cared for me
But did she ever say a prayer for me? oh woah woah
Clapping pattern: simple single claps on the beat.
TIER 1: One Clap Wonders (16–20)
This group of songs have one brief brush with clapping immortality, but leave us wanting so much more.
16. “What I Like About You” by The Romantics: 1+1+4+2 = 8
The first two bars of this song might be the most energizing and satisfying guitar riff-hand clapping combo in the history of rock and roll. Even though this fast-paced (160 BPM) rocker went relatively unnoticed when it came out, there’s a reason the song “grew to become one of the most popular rock anthems of all time.”
Sadly, there is only that one taste of hand clapping manna from the group’s manos.
Clapping pattern: a sequence of 4 quick claps on the beat.
17. “No Matter What” by Bad Finger: 2+1+1.5+3 = 7.5
Badfinger was discovered and signed by The Beatles and the group struggled under the enormous pressure of filling the shoes of John, Paul, George, and Ringo.
“No Matter What” had all the elements to be a fantastic Beatles song, but the young group lacked a John Lennon to find more emotional depth in the lyrics to balance the pretty melody and harmonies.
There is only one passage with hand clapping at 2:21, that’s not all that important to the song. But the syncopated series of hand claps was too interesting not to include in this list.
Clapping pattern: 5 claps (2-pause-2-pause-1) in a sequence off the beat.
18. “Take the Money and Run,” The Steve Miller Band: 1+2+2.5+2 = 7.5
Not much to say about this country rocker, another story where the outlaws get away with a crime, and I’m not talking about terrible rhymes in the lyrics (Texas and taxes).
There are only two short passages in the song with hand clapping, but damn it, those two satisfying bursts of machine-gun-like hand clapping make the song what it is.
Clapping pattern: a sequence of 5 quick claps on the beat.
#19. “I’ll Be There For You” by The Rembrandts: 1+1+2.5+2 = 6.5
The theme song for Friends was originally one minute long, then later re-recorded as a three minute music video that shows how charming and funny the cast could have been without the predictable writing, tired character stereotypes (Sobby, Whiny, Dopey, Bitchy, Ditzy and Barbie, if you were somehow able to forget.) and that mind-numbing Chinese torture known as a laugh track. Another fun fact is that Courtney Cox can really play the drums, so it’s great when she plays the real beat.
It’s a split-second slice of hand clapping perfection that comes in the first 17 seconds, never to be heard again.
Clapping pattern: a sequence of 4 quick claps on the beat.
#20. “Bang a Gong” by T Rex: : 2+3+0+1 = 6
The story goes that the band showed up to record, but didn’t have any lyrics to the verses besides “you’re dirty and sweet,” so the coked-up lead singer came up with everything on the spot.
And “that’s the truth with your cloak full of eagles.”
Pretty much every glam rock band used hand claps, so they don’t stand out from their peers, or raise this song musically. As a matter of fact, Power Station covered the song using a snare drum instead of claps and it peaked at #9 on Billboard, one spot higher than the original.
Clapping pattern: simple single claps on the beat.
Honorable Mentions
“Think” by James Brown
James Brown’s “Think” was two completely different songs. When the song debuted in 1957, it was more bluesy and clocked in at 2:45, reaching #8 in the 1957 US R&B charts. By comparison, Jailhouse Rock blew it away, both in terms of sounding like a modern rock song, and on the charts, reaching #1on six different Billboard charts.
In 1962, Brown turned up the juice, earning his nickname as “the hardest working man in show biz,” by cutting a full minute off the song and added a series of six rapid-fire hand claps in the transitions between the horn section and the verse, doubling the energy of the song.
However, his most memorable version is the 1973 arrangement, which eliminated the no hand clapping. The slower, funk groove of this version allowed Brown to weave his magic in and out of the horns, and against the beat. This is the Godfather of Soul at the height of his powers. If he decided that the best version of the song was to cut the hand clapping, this song can’t score points in this category.
Prior to 1962, hand-clapping songs sounded like college cheers, not rock music. Even Lawrence Welk had a hit that included hand clapping. That made Brown ahead of The Beatles as a pioneer. I hope mentioning him makes his fans feel good.
Clapping pattern: 6 quick claps
“No Fun” by The Stooges
These forerunners to the punk rock movement met with mixed reviews and poor sales back in the day. The song was never released as a single.
There are claps throughout most of the song.
Rule C states, “If the hand claps aren’t the first thing you remember, the song doesn’t make the cut,” and the first thing I remember is that abrasive voice whining “no fun” for five minutes.
Hand clapping is supposed to push a song over the top, not be its only redeeming musical feature. Am I an American idiot for even ranking this song or do I deserve to be institutionalized? Listening to it past the first verse makes me scream “I wanna be sedated.” I’m not going to reward a song that leaves me so unsatisfied.
Clapping pattern: a sequence of six claps (4 claps-pause-2 claps) that follows the rhythm of the guitar, so it feels like it’s on the beat.
After weeks of research, here’s is the top 10!
If you have other songs you think should be on the list, please let me know in the comments below.
Thanks for reading.
Here’s to another kind of applause…
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APPENDIX
Here’s my rating system in detail:
A. How big a hit was the song?
You may love a particular song, but if no one else knows it, I’m not going to consider it in these ratings. Scoring: album cut or single outside the top 50 (0 points), top 50 on Billboard (1 point), Billboard top 10 (2 points), Billboard #1 (3 points), a huge hit with record-level sales (4 points), plus a bonus point if it is part of Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Songs Ever (5 points).
B. How many handclaps are heard throughout the song?
It doesn’t matter how awesome the claps are, if we only hear them once at the beginning, the song is not going to make the top 10. Scoring: claps only at the beginning (1 point); claps at beginning and end (2 points); claps for every verse or chorus (3 points); claps during 75% or more of the song (4 points); and a bonus for the highest number of average claps (5 points).
C. How important are the handclaps in the mix?
Whether you’re a musician or a fan when you think of each song, what part do you remember? If the handclaps aren’t the first thing you remember, the song doesn’t make the cut. How much do the handclaps stand out or get lost in the mix? Scoring: claps mostly lost in the background (1 point) up to the song couldn’t exist without the handclaps (4 points), plus a bonus point if you recognize the song in the first two bars (5 points)
D. How Original or Innovative is the use of the handclaps?
Scoring: single clap on the beat (1 point); a sequence of claps on the beat (2 points); clapping off the beat (3 points); complex sequence of claps off the beat (4 points); bonus point for being a hand clap pioneer (5 points)
Additional Notes
- I looked at the clapping pattern as a musical phrase, singling out songs with unusual patterns.
- If an artist has two songs up for consideration, but they share the same hand clap pattern, I will only include the higher-rated song on this list — the other one bites the dust.
- I gave special consideration to bands from Canada, to avoid those ever-so-polite complaints. (You’re welcome, julian.)
