Gutbloom, you have outdone yourself! I laughed so hard this morning. This needs to be immortalized
[Editorial Note to all Readers]
Newspaper and Archeological sources have been confirmed. Unlike the rest of the Gutbloom article, the Bebop piñata actually existed in the pre-internet, three-dimensional reality now known as IRL. Construction began approximately June 11, 1992 and was completed June 16, 1992, leaving adequate time for the paper mache to harden sufficiently.
Bebop made his first and only public appearance at approximately 2:00 p.m. at Cheviot Hills park in West Los Angeles, for the 7th birthday party of Stephan Daniel Shapiro.
By 2:10 p.m., the children invited were becoming tired and frustrated by Bebop’s invincibility, unappreciative of the faithful reproduction of the character’s form AND power. Because only a Leo, Doni, Mikey or Raf had the strength to defeat this villian.
At approximately 2:11 p.m., the children were allowed to take off their blindfolds and swing at the uncooperative warthog with all their might.
At approximately 2:13 p.m. Stephan’s father was tasked with destroying his chef d’ouvre, which, along with his 1992 X-Men party invitation form the pinnacle of his 26-year career as a professional artist (talk about downhill ever since).
After said piñata was brought down to the ground, it was bludgeoned by the embarrassed head of the family and finally cracked open after the third blow.
A 26-inch wooden Louisville slugger bat was used to destroy this work of art.
Inspection with calipers revealed an average paper mache density of 1.5625 inches, indicating greater compressive and bending strength than pre-fab kitchen cabinetry, or anything found in IKEA (aside from their meatballs).
Representatives from certain Eskimo tribes visited the site to determine whether Bebop’s remains could be repurposed for building materials, but rejected this possibility because his purple mohawk did not fit village color schemes.
[We now return you to your regularly scheduled comment]
as its own unique story. However, my family and I will take no responsibility and make no association with individual conspiring to or constructing piñatas of death.
One last note: I think the trauma caused by the birthday incident affected my son’s eventual career path. Instead of studying to architecture, he became a mechanical engineer.