Hump Day Hash For My Hungry Homies

Four fantastic fables for the Fourth.

Lon Shapiro
4 min readJul 2, 2020


Image by Claudia Peters from Pixabay

Usually, I write about others I’ve discovered through serendipity. Today, I will share some articles before I disappear from this writing platform like some dissident Russian journalist.

I say this because I discovered to my horror that my most popular writing article was un-curated.

It was actually my only curated article on writing, which might have been a mistake from the beginning, given the circumstances. For some inexplicable reason, one of my rants was selected by Medium curators in the writing category at 1:03 AM PDT last August. My only guess is talking about walking my dogs must have scored points with those Corgis hard at work.

This created an incredibly advantageous window for all my fans in Mogadishu, who could read my sparkling humor piece with their morning coffee, as well as that prime Sunday evening slot for the three non-Party people in Siberia who have computers and internet access.

I have the proof the article was curated.* I don’t know precisely how I pissed off the gods of Medium so much. I can only guess at three possible transgressions (although my readers my point out dozens of others):

Crime #1: I wrote a story about the C-word (not what you’re thinking) and mentioned the soon-to-be-leaving radioactive Rolli, the coffee addict who exposed criminal activity on this writing site, while the corporate overlords did nothing except screw with him.

Crime #2: In another article, I encouraged new writers not to sell their souls. However, I might have committed the unpardonable sin of mentioning a rival writing site and point out its advantages:



Lon Shapiro

High quality creative & design Former pro athlete & high quality performance coach. Teach the world one high quality joke at a time