I agree that there are significant communication differences. Ezinne interpreted Mr. Cobb’s tweet as a form of mocking. You interpreted his tweet as symbolic of the simple-mindedness of men. And I interpreted it as the highest form of compliment, implying that Ms. Reynolds did something that was almost impossible due to the grief she had to be feeling at the time.

I wish more people would read the work of Dr. Deborah Tannen. She’s a linguistics professor who has studied differences in the way most men and most women communicate. And from those studies, she found a difference in our world views. To state it as simply as possible, most women view the world as an inter-connected network, while most men view the world as the hierarchical (and therefore competitive) structure. Each gender has strengths and weaknesses, and each gender’s approach is perfectly logical within the framework of their worldview.

You’re right that most men don’t understand a woman’s ability to combine thought and emotion simultaneously. I don’t think calling men simple-minded is what you’re trying to say — unless you meant to imply that men are idiots. I think it’s most men’s thought processes are logical and sequential, while most women pull together a wider range of perceptual inputs to add an intuitive element to the basic thought processes.

The biggest problem is that we expect the other gender to think and feel exactly the way we do. And when they don’t, we think the other person is either crazy or doing it one purpose to drive us crazy.

Instead, we need to learn to respect and understand these differences and learn to speak each other’s language.

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Ad agency creative director, writer & designer at https://guttmanshapiro.com. Former pro tennis player and peak performance coach for professional athletes.

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