I hear what you’re saying. I do the same thing myself. But I also know that even when I think I’m being calm, my word choice and amount of sarcasm will still come off as angry. So I wait and read it later to see if I’m teaching someone or attacking them.
It seemed like you were trying to reach him, so the anger, though intentional, only served to push him away. I don’t know if someone that clueless will ever get it, regardless of the approach used.
From reading women‘s articles and the angry, stupid responses they get from some men, female writers are held to a much higher standard.
It’s like the Obama statement “if you like your insurance you can keep it.” That statement was true for something like 97% of the population of the United States. And yet, Politifact called the statement the “Lie of the Year,” equating it with things like “Obamacare has death panels,” “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut the whole thing down,” and pretty much anything that comes out of Herr Drumpf’s mouth.