…ece! It’s a little psychological shift, that makes me feel we are equal in the sexual relationship. It definitely involved me demanding sex a few times when my partner wasn’t interested. That’s how I came to believe the surrendering goes two ways. For women, who have likely been oppres…
I just did a series of internet searches, and this is the God’s honest truth.
Work: about 20 billion results
Cat: about 5.8 billion results
Dinner: about 2.2 billion results
Man wants sex with wife: about 595 million results
Man wants sex with his wife but she says NO: about 980 million results
Woman want sex with husband: about 241 million results
“My wife asked me for sex but I said no”: No results found for “my wife asked me for sex but I said no”.
Okay, seriously, here’s what I found in response to “My wife asked me for sex but I said no.”
Page 1 results: 7 of 10 articles about women saying “no” to their husbands; 2 of the 10 articles on the first page were about men saying “no” to their wives; and 1 article about a wife wanting an open marriage. Here was one of the better articles.
The woman talked about her husband losing interest in her, and said:
“It wasn’t always this way. In fact, it was the other way around. He would reach out and touch me when we both laid down for bed and so often I would cut him off right there. I was either too tired, too stressed, wasn’t in ‘the mood,’ or some other reason.”
“Two things about him rejecting me have broken my heart in the last two years. The way it makes me feel, of course, but also that I realize that he was telling the truth when he described how it made him feel years ago. He would say that it made him feel ugly, unwanted, and unloved. He described other things he felt such as being embarrassed and feeling that I wasn’t attracted to him. I remember rolling my eyes, thinking that the only thing that really bothered him about me rejecting him was that he wasn’t going to get the sexual release he wanted. I was wrong.”
Page 2 results: 8 articles on the husband wanting sex; 1 article on the husband not wanting sex; and 1 article titled “I Think My Wife Tried to Trick Me Into Gay Sex. Is That Normal?”
Page 3 results: 6 articles on husband wanting sex; 1 article on wife wanting open mariage; 1 article by some religious guy talking about (a fairy tale); 1 article about what women don’t want to hear (including “why don’t we have sex like we used to?”); 1 article about a woman wanting a divorce.
I think you get the idea. Even when the search is wife wants sex, but husband says no, 70-80% of the articles are actually about the husbands wanting sex and the wives saying no.
It sounds like your emotional growth allowed you to break a behavioral pattern where each of you played a part. It takes two to tango, but the dance ends if one person stops.