Indian Summer Reruns and Retreads Need a Home, too.

WICKED PISSAH EDITION, SEPTEMBER 6TH

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Photo by Oleg Ivanov on Unsplash

Is curation really all that?

In my continuing research into how Medium works, I started to look up all my old posts to see the effect of curation on a writer’s stats.

To my surprise, Medium used to curate my stories with alarming regularity for a person who doesn’t fit the demographics of their successful writers and is “not funny.”

My point is not to spill the research of my next deep dive on how to be a successful writer,* but to report that I found some absolutely wicked satire that I wrote over the last couple of years that has been relatively ignored.

Not even my Somalia Pirate fan club seemed to find these articles.

The thing about getting old is that your memory starts to go and…

The thing about getting old is that your memory starts to go and you start laughing at all the stuff you forgot that you wrote.

If you’re looking for a laugh on a Friday night and you came here:

  1. Please accept my apologies for your non-existent social life; and,
  2. I hope some wicked satire will make you laugh loud enough that people will think you’re having a party, get mad because they’re not invited, and call the cops on you for disturbing the peace.

We proudly present tonight’s prix fixe menu:

Hors d’oeuvres

For an appetizer, might I suggest a platter of stale tweets by the Liar-in-Chief in which he takes over Game of Thrones? King Little Hands is so bad people signed a petition to bring back Benioff & Weiss!

La Salade Verte

The antipasto salad is a fond memory of the Summer of Zero B.C.J. (Before Cheeto Jesus). It is accompanied by a side dish of rancid troll juice as I was attacked on social media about a minute after Medium featured this article.

It is also a killer mixtape, Bonnie.

du Vin

Nothing goes with the beginning of football season like a bottle of 2018 sore loser chardonnay. In this article, I praised Patriot Coach Bill Belichick for his humanitarian efforts in supporting players with rare diseases.

L’Entrée

Tonight’s plat du jour is a delicious skewer of death, millennials, the health insurance industry, and policy wonkery, garnished with a subtle glaze of caramelized onions, Republican “public servants” and religious blasphemy.

This is an interview with the Grim Reaper to die for.

Le Dessert

Finally, tonight’s dessert is a light, airy offering of political satire. What sets this “hidden” gem apart from every other item on the menu is that its flavors are so subtle, 7,938 people missed the humor. It has the most views and reads of any article I have ever written on Medium, and yet it feels like people thought I was praising Genghis Tang.

Will you join that elite group of only 13 people whose highly refined palettes allowed them to discern the subtle flavor profiles contained in this 2017 April Fool’s joke?

Bon Apetit, mes amis!

*Spoiler: none of them are working, but something has to hit eventually.

Written by

Ad agency creative director, writer & designer at https://guttmanshapiro.com. Former pro tennis player and peak performance coach for professional athletes.

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