I’ve got to second Gutbloom’s opinion. Here we go again, with this Mitchell guy. First he starts a green heart extortion ring, using an innocent four-year-old and then violated child labor laws with same. I’m so glad he got shut down by that NSA investigation.

And now we get the humblebragging. “Oh, poor me, my massive Medium popularity has attracted a few hecklers.” says the poor guy who gets more hearts than me and gutty (if I may use the informal, Mr. Mayor) have in reads. Combined.

And then this wanker (if I may use the informal, Mr. Mitchell) rubs our face in the fact that his writing is so edgy that he can create international controversy, all the while pimping his own overly popular articles, while we putter around with our garden variety, homespun little nudges in the ribs of the corporate overseers, and the only action we get is with a few desperate nOObs:

At least I had the decency to warn my two readers about the dearth of original stuff, such as the immediately forgotten

Or labeling an article “Wednesday Word Gumbo”

I even included a warning not to read it, for f*ck’s sake:

WARNING: If you are a kindred spirit, someone who likes donuts and already knows all my secrets of becoming a media juggernaut, stop right here. Go no further. I see you there, withdraw that foot from my digital doorstep. Look elsewhere for something fresh and delicious, because today is Wednesday Word Gumbo, hump day hash, a delightful blend of leftovers that will nourish your soul. There will be no Easter Eggs, no new gems of humor. Not one. Don’t even think about it.

If I could shake my virtual fist at you, I would yell from the top of these virtual hills. But since I can’t I will be forced to acknowledge your Class-K star status with a Seinfeldian “Hello, Mitchell.”

OMG, I’m not even important enough to even call you my nemisis. I’m the Clippers, waving a couple of divisional flags at the Lakers’ SIXTEEN CHAMPIONSHIP BANNERS. Sorry, that’s basketball. I’m like AFC Wimbledon talking trash to Manchester United.

For all I know, the bastard has already blocked me.


Written by

Ad agency creative director, writer & designer at https://guttmanshapiro.com. Former pro tennis player and peak performance coach for professional athletes.

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