Oh damn, here I thought you were going to write about sports and all you did was wax rhapsodic about (snore) soccer. I should have known from the title (watch more “sport” [English] instead of the “sports” [American]).

And your opening sentence referring to the Super Bowl was a complete bait and switch. You could have substituted World Cup and I would have known to stay away.

On top of that, you hid your true intent by using a cover photo of a basketball player. Again, I should have known your intent to mislead because this was a fake basketball player — either a short guy jumping at a 6' tall rim, or a halftime entertainer jumping off a trampoline — as no human being has ever jumped that high above a regulation rim.

Not being satisfied with your deception, you dashed all my hopes with two photos of tennis players, yet failed to mention one of the most difficult and supremely mental challenges in the world of sports. You want to talk about Lear feeling alone after losing his daughter? How about what tennis players go though in every singles match? No coaches, no time outs, no substitutions, and no teammates, with matches that can last as over four hours in men’s grand slam tournaments and Davis Cup.

Finally, you quote Clint Eastwood, a man who has done many crazy things — like acting with an orangutan, talking to an empty chair, and supporting another hairy orange creature for president — but he has never done something as crazy as watch soccer.

And now all I can do is rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Instead of reading an article pretending to be about sports, I could have watched a real soccer match:

Written by

Ad agency creative director, writer & designer at https://guttmanshapiro.com. Former pro tennis player and peak performance coach for professional athletes.

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