Okay, there are two major problems here. Unless you become a God of Medium, your portion of the proceeds might only be the hairs on the monkey’s scrotum. Or, you would be so popular, you would get stuck with hundreds of monkeys, turning you family domicile into a never ending shit storm.

For the big opening to your musical, I suggest Dire Straits:

Now look at them tech bro’s that’s the way you do it
You play the keyboard on your new PC
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Shekels for nothin’ and your dreck for free

Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb
We got to install microwave ovens custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators we gotta move these color TV’s
See the little blogger with the earring and the make up
Yeah buddy that’s his own hair
That little blogger got his own jet airplane
That little blogger he’s a millionaire
We got to install microwave ovens custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators we gotta move these color TV’s
We got to install microwave ovens custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators we gotta move these color TV’s
I shoulda learned to play the keyboard
I shoulda learned to code Pascal
Look at that mama she got it stickin’ in the camera man
I coulda had that gal
And he’s up there, what’s that?
He’s tweetin’ noises?
Bangin’ on his smart phone like a chimpanzee
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Get your shekels for nothin’ get your dreck for free
We got to install microwave ovens custom kitchen deliveries
We got to move these refrigerators we gotta move these color TV’s
Listen here
Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way to do it
Play the keyboard on the new PC
That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
Shekels for nothin’ and your dreck for free
Shekels for nothin’ and your dreck for free
Shekels for nothin’ and your dreck for free
Shekels for nothin’ and your dreck for free
Shekels for nothin’ and your dreck for free
Shekels for nothin’ and your dreck for free

Easy, easy shekels for nothin’ dreck for free) (I want a, I want a new PC)
(Shekels for nothin’ dreck for free)

Written by

Ad agency creative director, writer & designer at https://guttmanshapiro.com. Former pro tennis player and peak performance coach for professional athletes.

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