She’ll clean up like a beauty
Once again, alto has given me another brilliant idea to steal — Wayback Wednesdays. To be slightly original, I will rechristen this merde du mercredi — sounds so much cooler… unless you speak French, or have Google translate.
Coming to you from the distant past is a rare serious article, back in the days when I thought I would change the world with… uh, save the world with… uh, slow down its descent into a molten puddle of bacon fat and willful ignorance.
This one’s got some power under the hood, a life-hacking article with some real muscle, written before I joined the anti-contrarians and unleashed The Grammar Games on the world. For the incredibly low price of nada, we proudly present “A most unlikely life hack…”
Next up is a sporty little pair of speed boats, featuring a deaf 92-year-old doing his best to be a good father and his 53-year old bouncing baby boy who wonders if screen writers get their dialogue ideas by bugging random people’s houses. Reduced today for next to nothing, this story delivers huge bang to your buck, and is called, “When life imitates art.”
Both of the stories above are covered by the Coffeelicious Seal of Approval, guaranteed to satisfy the most discerning readers.
Last up, we proudly present a work the figuratvely flies off the page, because not even a used chariot salesman like me can claim this thing literally got of the ground. But it’s spacious, with room for fifty. You could have a cocktail party, turn it into a clubhouse for the kids, or use it as a prop for one of the greatest Halloween pranks ever. People forget how epic this unfinished tale is (for good reason), a work that defies time, space, the laws of physics, and good taste. For true gourmets, I present a sumptous buffet featuring la viande du cheval bien bien attendrie, “Les Jeux Grammaires.”
Sound the Clarion! A challenge has been issued. (the idea behind the story)
The Yelp Review
Due to the lack of writer support (you all know who you are) the final chapter of “the Grammar Games” will be published this weekend.
We will close the last page, and no longer accept submissions after this Friday.
We mean it this time.
This is your last chance.
I’m not kidding.
(Oh who am I kidding? If someone finally steps up I’ll keep the thing going. Nobody beats a dead horse like I do. Not even Seth McFarland. Damn, just ruined another joke with a typo.)