Sorry to reply so late, but your article just came up in my feed for some reason.

First, I agree that it’s totally inappropriate to put down writers for whom English is a second language.

Second, everyone I know on Medium agrees with all of your other points as well. My friends and I have complained about these same things for over three years.

But I do have to ask you if you think you’re the first person to ever write this kind of article. As a journalist, wouldn’t you do some basic research like search Medium for “complaints about Medium”? The list of articles stretches back to the Paleozoic era, I think.

Also, I know you’re trying to be sincere and you’re echoing the sentiments of so many people, especially new writers on Medium, but for writers who have seen the same self help/tech bro/content marketing/writing coach garbage for years, I want to share with you the kind of articles that make complaining about Medium a joy.

Unfortunately, the second most annoying thing about Medium (behind having your feed clogged by all the listcles we all hate) is having your feed clogged up by people writing the same old articles complaining about the same old articles clogging up our feed. I wrote this open letter to open letter writers three years ago to another writer that said almost exactly the same thing you just wrote.

Ironically, I did a search for my old article and typed in “open letter to open letter writers” and about a thousand articles popped up. So even my response to your response to the people we all dislike has been done before.

I hope you can laugh at yourself, as I laugh at myself.

To aid that cause, here are some of the funniest critiques of Medium’s content marketers and self help gurus I’ve ever read. They inspire me every time I want to criticize Medium.

Here is some of their incredible work:

Absolute must-read articles on Medium’s “algorithms” which spew self-help effluent to your door every day and how to write more popular posts:

A Cynic’s Guide to Writing the Perfect Medium Post

A Click-Bait Experiment, and the Navel-Gazing Problem that Threatens to Ruin Medium

An in-depth discussion of what Medium is thinking:

Down with The Triumvirate! Petitioning for Clarity on what Medium Wants to Be

Thinking Inside The Bubble

Spit-take parodies on life-hacking posts that will make you laugh so hard you will forget you’re mad about the crap in your email box:

A Tongue-in-cheek Medium Lifehack Review

10 Amazing Quotes That Will Explode Your Mind And Guide Your Life To Absolute Betterment. Achieve Maximum Human Potentialness By Reading Through This List Of Quotes That I Found In The Most Popular Quotes Section Of Quotes.Com. Consume Them All As Gospel. NO CONTEXT REQUIRED. Apply The Gist Of Each One To Every Aspect Of Your Life And Watch Your Emotional Revenue Flow Explode Out Of The Roof. Like Dr. Seuss Says, “Sometimes The Questions Are Complicated And The Answers Are Simple.” BAM. Lines From A Children’s Book Applied To Everyday Adult Situations. Isn’t That Just Ockham’s Razor You Might Be Asking Yourself? I Don’t Know. HAHA. Stop Asking Stupid Questions And Start Reading More Quotes I Found To Solve Problems You Didn’t Know You Had. KITTENS! Did I Mention You Will Also Grow 3 Inches? Boy, These Quotes Are Going To Game Change Your Life. Don’t Believe Me? Then Ask The Men And Women Who Originally Quoted Them. Oh, Wait, You Can’t Because They Are All Living On Private Islands With Exactly One Million Dollars Each. And So Can You. Read Each One Carefully. Trust Me, I’m Not Just Luring You To This Page To Shamelessly Promote Myself And My Freelance Services.

Get 500,001 Stats On Medium In 29 Days!

How To Success Your Success Into Succeeding Successfully

The amazing conversation between Henry W and Jon W.

First, Jon’s response to being parodied. (He has since deleted the story).

Then Henry’s incredible response:

Open Letter to Jon Westenberg, and Other Self-Help Blowhards

Jon’s sincere attempt to reform the system (also deleted)

Henry’s sort-of peace offering:

I Accept Your Surrender

I hope you get some laughs out of these articles, and it gives you the inspiration to find new material.

Best of luck in your writing journey.

Written by

Ad agency creative director, writer & designer at https://guttmanshapiro.com. Former pro tennis player and peak performance coach for professional athletes.

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