The NFL at the Quarter Turn and on the BackBeat with the Fab Four.
After four weeks of the NFL season, are there any burning questions left (excluding your bets)?
I’m not sure there are many surprises left after watching all the teams, especially with all the early quarterback injuries. I’m writing this article a couple of days early, as the only possible surprise in week five would be if the Rams can play bad enough to make the NFC West competitive.
The AFC is so terrible it doesn’t matter which mediocre teams fill out seeds 3–6 in the playoffs. All we want to know is if the Chiefs can finally beat the Patriots, which would crown Patrick Mahomes’ MVP season.
In the NFC, there’s a group of pretty good teams, but only one that has the potential to win it all.
I’ve got a feeling you already know the team. It won’t be long before the playoffs are upon us.
These predictions may not be on the money, but all I’ve got to do is provide some entertainment, right?
A breakdown of the NFL explained with the help of the Beatles.
Magical Mystery Tour
The Magical Mystery Tour
Is waiting to take you away
Ah, the anticipation of another exciting NFL season. Everyone has new hope.
You feel like you’re flying.
To a beautiful new season, you say “Hello.” “Goodbye” to the suffering of past years.
And then we watch the first three weeks of the season.
Pittsburgh gets killed by New England. Are the Patriots unbeatable?
Pittsburgh loses its quarterback and a tight game to Seattle. Is Seattle a contender?
Pittsburgh loses to San Francisco. Okay, we figured it out.
Cincinnati almost beats Seattle on the road. Are they good?
Cincinnati gets destroyed by San Francisco. Are they good?
Cincinnati blows a 4th quarter lead to Buffalo. Yup, figured it out.
Cardinals overcome an 18-point lead and tie the Lions. Are they okay?
Cardinals hang tough with mighty Baltimore. Are they competitive?
Cardinals were blown out by Carolina without their starting quarterback. Figured it out.
Redskins build a 17–0 lead on Philadelphia and lose by 5. Are they good?
Redskins lose by 10 to Cowboys at home. Are they decent?
Redskins trail Bears 28–0 at home, lose by 16. Well, now there’s no doubt.
Jets lead Buffalo 16–0 but lose 17–16. Could they be good?
Jets lose their quarterback, blown out by Browns. Could it just be the quarterback?
Jets trail New England 30–0 in the 3rd quarter. No, it’s not the quarterback.
And then there’s Miami. They were DOA before the first quarter of the season was over.
For 25% of the fans (Dolphins, Redskins, Bengals, Jets, Broncos, Steelers, Cardinals, Falcons), there’s already just a body and a taped-off crime scene.
If you read their playbooks backward, you’ll see the message “Paul is dead.”
Need a headache remedy? Your mother should know one.
You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We’d all love to see the plan
This may be one of the strangest NFL seasons ever, based on the way key retirements and injuries have crushed team expectations in the first couple of weeks.
Quarterbacks have been falling like flies since before the beginning of the season, and have had a significant impact on their teams:
Luck (Colts), Brees (Saints), Rothlisberger (Steelers), Newton (Panthers), Foles (Jaguars), Darnold (Jets) dealt blows to their teams’ prospects.
On the other hand, the benching of Eli Manning and losses of Josh Allen and Mitch Trubisky may be just what those teams need to make the playoffs.
I Want to Hold Your Hand
Yeah, you got that somethin’
I think you’ll understand
The younger struggling quarterbacks (Josh Allen, Mason Rudoph, Gardner Minshew, Rosen, Murray, etc.) are trying to show their coaches, “I wanna be your man,” and they are doing it at varying levels of success.
Other coaches need to hold the hands of their veteran quarterbacks and hope to rekindle their love because these guys are killing their teams. They’ve thinking, “all my loving” will help bring my quarterback back to me and the team.
Case Keenum: After playing one great half in his season opener to lead Philadelphia 17–0, Keenum’s best-case scenario has been when he disappears.
It won’t be long before the Deadskins vie for a 0–16 season.
He has four interceptions and two lost fumbles in his last two games and been collecting drive-killing sacks like they are McDonald’s Monopoly cards.
He gave the Bears two touchdowns with a pick-six and a strip-sack fumble at his 11-yard-line. Then, he killed the chance to score touchdowns with a sack and another strip-sack, both inside the Chicago 20. Let’s not talk about how he played against the Giants.
But the incredible thing is he the best of the quarterbacks in this list. He’s leading all the young struggling quarterback in QBR (Carr, Rosen, Mayfield, and Mariota)… and the guy who was in the conversation for MVP the first 12 games of 2018.
Jared Goff seemed to have switched souls with Jameis Winston in a Freaky Friday remake. Rams fans are hoping to say “not a second time,” regarding the rest of the season.
His poor decision making and late reads have turned Rams blow-outs into close games, and winnable games into losses. Goff has seven interceptions and three lost fumbles in five games while missing deep throws to wide-open receivers.
Goff is currently ranked #26 among NFL quarterbacks, trailing the benched Eli Manning, and only ahead of the dregs of football this season (Allen, Trubisky, Bridgewater, Falk, Cousins, and Newton.
Since the loss to Chicago last season, Jared has been Goff-ul. The Rams are too talented on offense, averaging 30 points per game this year. The problem is that missed field goals, sacks, turnovers, and missed open receivers have cost the team at least one net score per game.
Coach Sean McVay is thinking, “all I’ve got to do” to be a better coach, and all the team’s troubles will disappear.
Kirk Cousins. Do I need to say anything more about this boy?
Joe Flacco is enjoying a rebirth of sorts and telling all the people how said he was washed, “don’t bother me.” The only problem is the Broncos lost their first four games.
I’m Only Sleeping
Please, don’t wake me, no, don’t shake me
Leave me where I am, I’m only sleeping
Miami: If you’re a Dolphins fan, you should have asked to be put in a protective coma before the season even started.
This nightmare of this season can’t be over soon enough, so save your money and heartache.
I want to tell you one thing: don’t watch this historically incompetent football team.
Instead, buy Revolver and play it non-stop, here, there and everywhere.
It will make you happy. You’ll greet the day saying, Good day, sunshine.
You won’t even mind paying the taxman.
Just dream of the #1 draft pick and a future star, because tomorrow never knows.
The world is treatin’ me bad, misery
For years, these fans have begged their teams, “please, please me” to no avail.
Do you want to know a secret?
Even with the hope of a new season, these boys will never make their fans twist and shout.
Ask me why the Jets, Redskins, and Bengals are horrible.
I don’t know, but I can assure you fans won’t be getting a taste of honey any time soon.
- These teams have lost by an average of at least 12 points per game.
- Only the Jets led in the 4th quarter in game. Without Darnold, they have no chance.
- The !$*%()#* Patriots, as defending champs, are supposed to have the toughest schedule, and they get six games against the dregs of the NFL, plus they played the awful Steelers.
Just know that no chains are connecting you to your TV set.
There’s a place you can go during football season instead of suffering needlessly. It’s called the mall.
I’m a Loser
Although I laugh and I act like a clown
Beneath this mask, I am wearing a frown
By all accounts, the Cardinals and Steelers should belong with the dregs of the league, but they failed to maintain a perfect losing record. I couldn’t reward that kind of incompetence at being incompetent, so I put them in a tier just slightly above the bottom four teams.
Besides, each team has a shiny new toy that gives them hope for the future, in Kyler Murray and Mason Rudolph.
You know how every new quarterback relationship goes.
You tell all your friends “I feel fine.”
The team is almost promising you “I’ll be back.”
Then those young guys go back to pass under pressure, and you’re screaming “Honey don’t!”
But there’s no reply, as they throw those inevitable pick-sixes.
Your friend looks at your kid and has a puzzled look on his face. “Baby’s in black?”
“Yeah, we’re in mourning for the team.”
The Fool On The Hill
Day after day… Alone on a hill
Denver is in the mountains, so cut me some slack.
What can you say about the Denver Broncos, aside from the fact that these fools have defied all expectations?
The corpse of Joe Flacco has been reanimated be a Rocky Mountain high. He is currently #7 in QBR in the NFL (not CFL).
Meanwhile, a defense with Von Miller and Bradley Chubb has only five sacks and no interceptions.
The Broncos have lost two games as the clock expired, including a bizarre time out that might have been granted as time ran out.
In spite of their 0–4 record, Denver doesn’t deserve to be grouped in with all the losers, and yet there’s the possibility the team could lose 12 games.
I’m Looking Through You
I’m looking through you and you’re nowhere
New York Giants: With hopeless losses in their first two games, fans were telling each other, “you won’t see me” at the game last Sunday.
You were ready to run for your life, but then they finally benched Eli Manning.
“Wait!” you screamed as Saquon Barkley left the field with an ankle injury.
But then you discovered Danny Dimes, who led a remarkable come back against Tampa Bay.
And it turned into a win after the Bucs’ kicker missed a chip shot field goal.
So you show up for an easy win over Washington and now you Giants fans are thinking “there is hope in my life” once again.
You might even have dreams of the playoffs circling ‘round your heads.
Think for yourself, Giants fans, are you going to fall for the hype?
Games against the Vikings, Patriots, Lions, and Cowboys over the next five weeks will kill that hope quickly.
After that, you finish November with Chicago, Green and Philadelphia, and a season finale with the Eagles. You look right on track for a 10–loss season.
Yes, I’m looking through you, Giants fans.
Suddenly, I’m not half the man I used to be
There’s a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly
What else can you say about three teams in the NFC South?
Tampa Bay has a great coach in Bruce Arians. He was the offensive coordinator for the 2009 Super Bowl champion Steelers. He was the 2012 coach of the year as an interim coach when Chuck Pagano got sick and led the Colts, who had won two games the previous year, to the playoffs. In 2014, he coached the Arizona Cardinals to a league-best 9–1 record but lost both his quarterbacks to injury, and ended the season with a face plant.
And now he was Jameis Winston.
When is this guy going to catch a break? (Other than the Jared Goff-Secret Santa surprise party thrown last Sunday.) He must be playing Paul McCartney’s masterpiece on loop to go to sleep at night.
Carolina: Can you believe that Cam Newton was the MVP and riverboat Ron Rivera marched through the South en route to a Super Bowl appearance in 2016?
Newton has had so many injuries during his career he looks to be finished in Carolina.
When it comes to his throwing arm, he is most assuredly not half the man he used to be.
Atlanta: It seems impossible to believe, but we are only two years removed from the Falcons leading the Patriots 28–3 in Super Bowl 51. Since that catastrophic choke, Matt Ryan and coach Dan Quinn have gone 8–12. Do you think they’re not crying in the beers over yesterday?
With the intense competition in the NFC playoff contender group, none of these teams will likely reach the playoffs.
He’s a real nowhere man, sitting in his nowhere land, making all his nowhere plans for nobody.
Doesn’t that pretty much sum up the AFC playoff contenders (except New England and Kansas City)?
All together now, is there one team you trust in this group to win a first-round home playoff game?
There’s no point in wasting time on teams assured of going nowhere. It’s all too much.
These teams are moving their legs as fast as they can, but show no signs of catching up to the class teams. How can an entire conference be made up of Wile E. Coyotes?
From seeds 3 through 11, only one team in this group has a winning record. Without the ability to pad the score against the Finless Dolphs, only 2 of these 11 teams going nowhere would even have a positive point differential.
Buffalo has a great defense but nothing else. Expecting anything more from that is like calling into your neighbor’s backyard and yelling, “Hey bulldog, can you make me a platter of dolphin-free paella?”
(I could cross a sea of time and not get tired of making jokes about Miami).
Baltimore looked great against Miami and Kansas City, shaky against the terrible Cardinals, and got thrashed by the Browns.
Every team looks terrible one week and then gets well by beating down another of the team in this group.
With eight teams at 2–2, this is nirvana for the NFL parity advocates.
Who needs a Super Bowl trophy? All you need is love.
(A quadruple song listing!)
I’m Happy Just To Dance With You
There is really nothing else I’d rather do
’Cause I’m happy just to dance with you
San Francisco: These gold diggers are 3–0, and they are thrilled to even be at the dance.
They beat two terrible teams and feasted off Jameis Winston, who threw two pick-sixes in a game decided by two touchdowns. Then, they got a bye to move into first place for the first time since 2012.
John Houseman would be disgusted by the way San Francisco “earned it.”
Next Monday, they have a big “test” coming up against Cleveland. Think about what that says about each team.
The Browns can’t block and only have one good defensive lineman. Baker Mayfield has been pitiful against good defenses.
And yet they killed the Ravens and now represent a real test for the 49ers.
San Francisco has to play the Rams and Seahawks four times, plus the Packers, Ravens, and Saints.
If they beat Cleveland, they might get to 9 wins, but that won’t be enough for a wild card.
If not, the season could turn ugly pretty quickly.
I’ll Cry Instead
I’ve got every reason on earth to be mad…
This sums up the feelings of NFC North fans. While their teams devour each other, the other three divisions will have weak schedules.
Don’t expect to see a Wild Card team coming out of the brutal north. And the fans will be screaming at management, “tell me why” for the rest of the season.
Minnesota: The Vikings have a great defense, some excellent skills position players, and a good coach.
The problem is Kirk Cousins.
What he lacks in play-making ability, he makes up for in his lack of mobility in the pocket.
Unhappy Vikings fans are now longing for the days of Case Keenum, who could at least scramble around and make a play once in awhile.
Unhappy Vikings management is crying in their beer, saying “I should have known better,” after wasting tons of money on a guy who never comes.
While the Bears and Saints can survive without a quarterback, the Vikings cannot.
The upcoming game against the Giants may be the only road game where the Vikings are favored. If they blow this game, they might not win one road game this season.
I think their ceiling is about nine wins.
If I Fell
If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
Detroit: The Lions are a team of two cities, with the other one being Moscow.
Detroit may be the NFL’s equivalent to Russian Roulette. They keep spinning the cylinder and alternate between shooting their opponent and shooting themselves.
They blew an 18-point lead against the Cardinals, got a gift from the Chargers, played well against the Eagles, and then fell asleep on a fumble at the Chiefs 1-yard-line that would have given them the win.
It doesn’t matter how well they play, the ten-year love affair with Matt Stafford has to be getting old.
With their erratic aging gunslinger, Lions fans are sighing, “this boy” will never get his shit together.
The Lions have a full divisional schedule left to play and that will determine their season. Where their rivals have to play the Rams or the Seahawks, the Lions got a break by playing the Cardinals. That tie might be the thing that either earns them a wild card (should the Cowboys collapse), or prevents them from making the playoffs.
A Hard Day’s Night.
Chicago: The Bears may have the best defense in the NFL. They held Aaron Rogers to 10 points, and are allowing an average of less than 12 points per game.
But they have Mitch Trubisky and Chase Daniels, so every game feels like they might get shut out.
Chicago’s remaining schedule looks like a bear: the brutal NFC North gauntlet, plus the Saints, Chargers, Eagles, Rams, Cowboys, and Chiefs.
All 12 games are against teams .500 or better, even though they should win routinely against Oakland and the New York Giants.
With their quarterback problems, Chicago could be the greatest 8–8 team in history, but they look to win 10 games.
There’s no way this unbalanced team will make it through an impossible schedule and win 11 games, which I think is what will be needed to make the playoffs.
The problem is the Packers will own the tiebreaker (assuming they beat the Bears at Lambeau like they always do) so they have to find a way to win the NFC North.
Fixing a Hole
I’m fixing a hole where the rain gets in
Every NFC playoff contender this year is trying to cover up a massive hole in their team. Here are the teams with the best chance to make the postseason and what they are trying to hide.
#8: Seattle: Are they imposters?
They barely beat two of the worst teams in the league, lost to a good New Orleans team with a quarterback tied behind its back, and then won easily against another bottom-five team.
The game Thursday night will determine Seattle’s season.
It is the perfect storm of opportunity for the Seahawks, as they play at home on short rest after a game they won handily. Meanwhile, the Rams played their worst game since Jeff Fisher was the coach.
UPDATE: Seattle won on a missed field goal by the Rams.
This was a typical Seahawks win, with the perfect combination of miraculous escapes by Russell Wilson, a couple of incredible passes and catches by covered Seattle receivers (Russell could be the league’s best at lofting up a ball just over a trailing defender when he’s about to be sacked), a rejuvenated running game that rushed for 167 yards, and a rowdy home crowd that contributed three penalties against the Rams offensive line.
The problem is that Seattle’s defense is not elite.
In spite of two turnovers, some missed throws, and multiple dropped passes, the Rams offense gained 477 yards and lived in Seattle territory with six trips to the red zone and two more drives that went inside the 30.
If Russell can play like an MVP candidate for the rest of the year, the Seahawks could win 10 or 11 games, which is amazing because they could just as easily be 1–3 right now.
Seattle has games against Cleveland, Baltimore, Tampa Bay, San Francisco, Philadelphia, and Minnesota before they go on the road to play the Rams in December.
If Wilson doesn’t play great, they will be hard-pressed to split those games, and I don’t trust them to win on the road.
They still look like a wild card team.
#7 Dallas: On paper, and in ESPN’s mind, the Cowboys look like the class of the NFL, with a great running game, solid defense, and a gaudy point differential.
But they earned their record against a washed-up Eli Manning and the 0–8 RedFins. DolphSkins aren’t much better — that sounds like something in a jar found at that creepy house from The Silence of the Lambs.
Against the Saints, the Cowboys proved they don’t have a good enough quarterback to go all the way.
Nine of the last twelve games are against playoff contenders, including games at Detroit, New England and Chicago, and home games against Minnesota and the Rams.
It’s unlikely they can win a road playoff game. Sunday’s game proved how much the Cowboys were puffed up after playing three terrible teams. All the air came out of their balloon against the Packers.
[UPDATE: I had to give the Packers their own song after the Dallas game.]
We Can Work it Out
Try to see it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
Green Bay: Can they work it out?
For three games, people thought the Packers had an elite defense while questioning if Aaron Rogers still had it. Against Philadelphia, those ideas flipped as the defense couldn’t stop the Eagles, while Rogers was unstoppable.
Green Bay lost the game by coming up empty on two drives that ended inside the Eagles’ 5-yard-line, due to inexplicable play-calling, two dropped catches, and no ability to run the ball in pressure situations.
Do you know the definition of a non-existent running game? It’s when your best rusher is a 35-year-old quarterback, and his best friend is an Allstate agent.
If a team can’t score with four plays at the 1-yard line, they can’t be trusted to win tough playoff games, even though they have their best defense in years, and Rogers is returning to form.
Aaron made me a believer with his 182 yards and four touchdowns as the Packers dominated the Cowboys in week 5. The other Aaron, that guy who plays quarterback was okay, too.
Should I be seeing it their way?
Green Bay looked like the best team in the league on this one day, going on the road and exploding out to a 31–3 lead over Dallas.
While the Packers still need to show more consistency before I put them in the top three in the NFC, they separated themselves from the other playoff contenders by going 3–0 against three of the top six defenses in the league.
Green Bay does have an early divisional edge (2–0), and an easier remaining schedule than Chicago (1–1) or Minnesota (0–2): the Packers host Carolina and visit San Francisco; the Bears host the Saints and visit the Rams, and; the Vikings host Philadelphia and visit Seattle. The Lions’ have two extra games against divisional opponents.
I know that I just need you like I’ve never done before
I believe there is only one team in the NFC that I would favor over the AFC in the Super Bowl. The problem is they are missing their best player for at least four more games.
#5 New Orleans: For now, this team is a slightly better version of the Bears because they have some offensive claws.
The night before the Rams game, Saints fans were fighting mad and looking for payback.
While the Rams shut them up by winning by 18, I learned more about the Saints from that loss than I would have if he played.
New Orleans has a great defense and two of the best skill position players (Kamara and Thomas) in the league, and nothing is going to change that.
Since the injury to Drew Brees, fans are looking at his picture every night, cuddling a pillow and sobbing, “I need you.”
But I wasn’t too surprised that they’ve won two games against playoff contenders with smoke and mirrors.
The Saints still need a lot of help to punch their ticket to ride to the Super Bowl.
But IF Brees comes back in six weeks and IF he regains his form, New Orleans could be the most dangerous team in the league. Without a doubt, the Saints are the most balanced team in the NFL.
They have a much better offense than New England, much better defense than Kansas City, an all-time great quarterback and a Super Bowl-winning coach.
Just look at the schedule and tell me what you see.
After surviving the gauntlet of the first four games, all the Saints need to do is act naturally and win their divisional games. They only have one game left against an elite team, playing in Chicago.
If (but it’s still the biggest if) they can put it together and win home-field advantage, this could be their year.
The Long and Winding Road
The long and winding road that leads to your door
Will never disappear I’ve seen that road before
It always leads me here, lead me to your door
I’ve got a feeling the last two NFC champions will travel a long and winding road, with plenty of ups and downs.
Even if these teams battle across the universe, I think me and my buddy in Philly will face each other in the NFC title game.
While the rest of the NFC fans wish they could be the two of us, one of these teams will triumph and win the right to disappoint their fans again in the Super Bowl.
Look, I know every football fan in America will be disappointed if the Patriots win another Super Bowl.
But if that terrible fate awaits us, I want to preach peace and acceptance.
Don’t look at your TV and then look at that sledgehammer, okay?
Just let it be and go out for a walk with your dogs.
They’ll appreciate the fresh air, and your wallet will be happy to not fork over the money for a new TV set.
#4 Philadelphia: The Eagles are second only to the Saints in terms of checking all the boxes: great defense, play-makers on offense, and a Super Bowl-winning coach. I trust Wentz to make big plays when protection breaks down far more than I trust the Jared Goff from 2017–2018.
The problem for the Eagles is a secondary decimated by injuries. They can’t stop a good quarterback.
They couldn’t even stop Case Keenum, as the Deadskins ran up a 17–0 lead to start their game.
But the Packer game showed me something. They won a tough road game and carved up a good Packers defense like a butterball turkey. The running game averaged 5.3 yards rushing, and delivered a game-winning drive with five punishing runs, gaining 53 of the 75 yards. Add to that a big 3rd down completion by Wentz to keep the drive alive, and you have the formula to come through under pressure in the playoffs.
With the absence of Drew Brees, I have to put the Eagles at #4.
The problem is the team lost five of their six defensive backs and has to fill in with practice players.
Can they get healthy at the end of the year and make another Super Bowl push?
Their schedule is easier than their main divisional rival, with two fewer games against playoff contenders. Unlike the Cowboys, the Eagles will host Chicago and New England, while playing Seattle instead of the Rams.
The last two NFC champions will travel a long and winding road, with plenty of ups and downs, but I think they are going to meet again for the right to disappoint their fans in the Super Bowl.
#3 Los Angeles Rams: Last year, the Rams were #4 in the NFL in turnover differential. This year, they are near the bottom of the league.
Goff has killed the team with turnovers, Gurley has been a non-factor, they’ve missed three field goals, and had a punt blocked.
While they have a 3–2 record, they are scoring almost 30 points per game.
And no matter how bad things might go in the game, the Rams do what good teams do — they find a way to come back and put themselves in a position to win the game at the end.
Against Tampa Bay, they gave up a 21-point deficit but still had the ball at the end of a one-possession game. It took a historically bad game by both Goff and the defense to lose that game.
And the game in Seattle may turn out to be the Rams’ toughest game of the year.
The combination of a short week, playing on the road, crowd noise, Wilson’s incredible ability to escape the rush, and the Seattle coaching staff’s familiarity with their divisional rivals could have meant a bad beating.
Instead, the Rams bounced back from their first half mistakes to take the lead for most of the second half.
Even after the crushing blow of that tipped pass interception, both the defense and offense made big plays in the last two minutes.
While the loss at Seattle was disappointing, the Rams look like the team with the higher ceiling:
- The defense kept Wilson under pressure the entire game, forcing him to scramble for his life.
- The offense marched up and down the field but made key mistakes that stopped them from scoring touchdowns.
- They started to use Todd Gurley more effectively.
- Goff didn’t kill them with turnovers —he threw a perfect pass that his tight end bobbled.
Every part of the team improved except for the play of their cornerbacks. I don’t know what’s wrong with Talib and Peters, but they have played horribly on defense for the last two weeks.
If the Rams play the rest of their games with the intensity they did in Seattle, they are going to right their ship quickly.
The Rams have one of the weakest remaining schedules: four games against bottom-five teams, two games against San Francisco, and only one road game against a playoff contender.
While there are still trap games at Atlanta and home with Baltimore, it’s possible they could go on a big winning streak before hosting the Seattle on December 8th.
For now, and until Brees comes back and proves otherwise, the Rams look like they can win home-field advantage, and with it, the best chance to win the NFC.
Too bad the Super Bowl won’t be played in Los Angeles this year.
That’s right, if the Rams can’t win it all this year, they just have to get back there in 2021, when it will be a home game.
Can you dig it?
Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey
Come on, come on, come on, come on
Come on, it’s such a joy, come on, it’s such a joy
Come on, let’s take it easy, come on let’s take it easy
No team in the NFL is going to have the cake-walk the Patriots will enjoy. They look invincible, right?
Finding a weakness should be like looking for a white cow in a snowstorm while listening to the White Album.
#2 New England Patriots: Actually, the Patriots have a lot to hide, and I’m not talking about the usual litany of cheating that has been documented over the years.
With Antonio Brown gone and nagging injuries to Gordon and Edleman, New England’s offense ground to a halt against the Bills. Another birthday has passed, and the 42-year-old Brady had one of the worst games of his career, with 150 yards on 3.8 yards per pass, and a QBR of 10.3.
With no help from the running game, the Patriots gained 50 yards on their first possession, leading to their only offensive touchdown. The offense finished the game with 224 yards.
Equally alarming were the holes that began to show up in the Patriots defense. If we subtract the 41-yard run by Frank Gore, the Bills still averaged almost 4.5 yards rushing. In spite of the Bills’ problems at quarterback, Buffalo’s receivers gained 280 yards on 22 receptions.
The Patriots won the game on the strength of five sacks, four interceptions, and a touchdown off a blocked punt.
For the hundredth time, the only thing Buffalo fans can do is cry, baby, cry.
New England is tied for #1 in the NFL in turnover differential, but teams have no control over the bounce of the ball.
In four games, the Patriots have played a terrible Steelers team, the pitiful Dol-no-fins, the Jets without their starting quarterback, and Buffalo’s dynamic duo of Josh Allen and Matt Barkley.
According to NFL.com, out of 49 quarterbacks, they have faced #44, #45, #48, #40, #43, and #47.
While I’m sure Tom Brady will recover from his usual lousy September game, no one on this team is yelling at their receivers to go long, long, long.
I’m so tired to hear people rave about this “historic” defense.
Just don’t expect their defense to have problems during the regular season. Here’s the murderer’s row in line to test the Patriots’ defense over the next four weeks: #28; #22 (his 4th start); #40 (if #33 doesn’t recover), and; #39.
Can you say 8–0? New England’s schedule assures them of at least 12 wins and another annual bye.
A rematch with Kansas City seems inevitable. Let’s hope those piggies don’t reach another Super Bowl.
Please, Andy Reid, do not go gentle into that good night again.
With a Little Help from My Friends
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, get high with a little help from my friends
Oh, I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends
In his short time in the NFL, Patrick Mahomes is playing the quarterback position as well as any player in history. The only question is, will he get a little help from his friends?
#1 Kansas City Chiefs: Last year, the Chiefs were dominated by the Patriots in the first half. As always, Belichick created a perfect game plan. As always, that first half advantage was increased by a couple of terrible coaching decisions. It’s just a day in the life of Andy Reid.
And yet, none of that mattered once Mahomes got into a groove. He put up 31 points on the Patriots and the only thing that stopped him was losing the coin toss in the overtime.
Ever since Mahomes got drafted, Chiefs fans greet neighbors with a doubly warm, good morning, good morning, no matter how cold it is in that town.
Of all the calls that were blown last year, why couldn’t the refs have missed an encroachment penalty that did not affect the play that would have sent the Chiefs to the Super Bowl?
The Chiefs are still flawed, but it’s getting better all the time. This year may finally be the year when the best player in football leads his team to a Super Bowl, dragging his bumbling coach and snake-bitten franchise to the promised land.
Perhaps we’ll get the Kansas City-New Orleans Super Bowl that football deserved last year and that their production will be second to none.*
Inside Andy Reid’s mind, I can hear him chuckling at the thought, “I’ll finally win a Super Bowl when I’m 64.”*
Unfortunately, Reid is only 61.
That guy’s always had time management problems.
*You’re a true fan if you caught that reference.