This is a fantastic collection, and such a great idea for an article.
Believe it or not, I play games with my son where we think of a category and then try to remember “greatest songs in history that use the cowbell” or “most unusal word rhymes used in a song by a major artist (pre-rap).”
But don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I’m even more anonymous than you.
One other factor to consider for the lack of readership (although having an audience of Gutbloom and me is a sign of the highest praise) may be the way you reference loving your organ.
It’s possible that you scared away most people, who thought you were either capable of inhuman contortions, or were advocating the sale of human kidneys on the black market. Neither subject is top 10 material on Medium. But if you want to know what is, this may be the greatest inspiration you will ever need:
Trust me, you have to read this. You will discover the secret of the clusterf*ck 4000, a click-bait title generator that was presented in total seriousness.