This is the best piece of humor writing I’ve seen in a long time.
You wove together so many layers of writing, from the dry humor of the dull suburban existence, to the snark about modern fashion to the beautiful literary flourishes (VW Bugs with a fender scraping against a tire) to the absurd non-sequiturs about Ralph Nader and howler monkeys.
I think you would win the SlackJaw Humor Challenge if you entered.
Thanks for all the laughs:)