Unless I’m badly mistaken, your little “ditty” was a true expression of real pain. (I read your comments about the violence and discrimination against women in the Muslim world, and I just assumed you had some first hand experience. I just read that you lived in a war zone where a different type of shooting was going on. But it’s still as close as one can get to dying.)
There is a weight that comes with suffering that shows up in how some people write or talk. Years ago, one of our clients was an Orthodox Hebrew school. The director of the school, a rabbi had lost his father, so the family was in mourning (sitting shiva). Out of respect, I went to his house to sit with them. He started to tell me stories of what his father did as a boy in Nazi Germany, and how he somehow survived the concentration camps, a forced march in the snow, and all the random interactions that could easily have ended with a bullet to the back of the skull.
When I read your story, I could fee that same kind of weight.
Has anyone read your post besides me? It doesn’t matter. F*ck them and their start ups. The tech bros. The self-improvement snake oil salesmen. Just do it for you.