While there’s no excuse for a man leaving his wife who is undergoing cancer therapy, isn’t making spur of the moment, unilateral decisions (I’m going to make him “my husband”, I’m going to buy this house that’s perfect for “me”) just the slightest bit selfish, as well?
For all your insight into and complaints about all the immature men in your life, your admission about going to a reunion to find and manipulate a guy who had a crush on you in college, while courageous, reveals a lot about you.
If you “overlooked ever-mounting evidence…” and pushed for a commitment, perhaps you should be looking more at fixing yourself so you’re able to recognize and be receptive to the right man for you.
The old saying goes “when the pupil is ready, the teacher appears.” I believe that applies to relationships, as well.