Who taught girls to be “Nice Girls,” to quote Julia B?

Why is our culture filled with stories about good girls who were supposed to act a certain part then secretly went off to do what they wanted to do?

How many times have we read of real and fictional stories that describe how a man courting a woman has to overcome multiplte objections, from the woman, from her friends, and parents? Men deal with rejection in almost every social interaction with women.

Is it really that difficult to see how men might learn behaviors to overcome objections? How does one confirm if a conditional “no,” or a “no” delivered with mixed signals is in fact a real “no?”

Julia B wrote to me that she was aware of giving mixed signals when she was younger. The very idea of mixed signals indicates there is an unclear message in some situations.

Please don’t parse a quick summation of basic courtship and communication dynamics and turn this into a completely different conversation about rape culture. I made an observation of behavior, not a statement of advocacy.

Peace.

Written by

Ad agency creative director, writer & designer at https://guttmanshapiro.com. Former pro tennis player and peak performance coach for professional athletes.

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