You asked for feedback, so here goes:
- Most people are too preoccupied with their own writing to give you advice.
- The rest of the people who might take an interest you won’t comment for fear of coming off as too arrogant. (I’ve been a teacher for most of my life, so if I can help people, I’ll take the risk of coming off as a condescending rat bastard.)
- Spend more time reading the kinds of stories you would like to tell. It will give you a frame of reference as far as narrative style and structure.
- It’s up to you how you want to develop your voice. Are typos and grammatical errors part of your intended style? If not, have a friend read your drafts and spend more time editing your work. Spend more time editing you work, no matter what; you’ll want to be sure your style is consistent throughout a piece.
- Start out with a small idea, instead of committing to a set number of words. Just tell a story. If you strip out the general stuff about the human eye and the explanation of what rain does in the tropic started to catch my interest. You hinted at the searing heat, but didn’t really develop how it affects you and/or the people around you. Is there tension or pain in this situation? Does the rain ease that pain? Or does the violence of the rain do more damage?
If you want to get your feet wet, and write one sentence to describe what is happening to you and what you see outside the stadium as the Grammar Games continue. It’s all in fun. Collaboration is all about ideas, not whether you cross every i and dot every t.
Good luck in your journey!